Imagine a lady walking through the Australian outback, and she comes across a poorly built leaky caravan. She looks in the window and sees two ugly ass dogs snarling at them. They've got shit names like noodle and gayboy, then she see's you in your safari suit and massive chin, peering out the dim broken window like a proper fucking serial killer, looking at her fat frumpy arse with a menacing glee in your one eye.

Then she comes to Scotland, walking though the beautiful ancient streets, and suddenly she hears the sound of beautiful patriotic bagpipes? As she gets closer she stumbles upon a hunk of a man, muscles bulging, long socks witha dagger in them, long straggly windswept hair like WIlliam Wallce, playing outlawed tunes on outlawed pipes. The patriotic fervour makes her pussy wet, as she gazes in awe and blushes as her gaze meets his. Afterwards they go to the finest hotel in Scotland and make sweet sweet love for the next 72 hours?

That's the difference betwen me and you, BRO!

Your parents bought you a reduced rate apartment in Chernobyl for your 1st birthday, that's how your face is like a melted wellie.