i was asking ted about things that kids get up too , do oz kids throw water balloons at passers by in hot weather ,and snow balls in cold ?

Ok do you have any ideas on how I get myself out of this... You make more sense than Anton, he would say something for 3 minutes that makes sense but then he goes in to the deep end of shit.

Can you explain to me what that means? what did you said? "they are living their fantasy w me? That sounds bad.. I feel like it's my fault. like I'm putting out this fuck up sexual energy and that's what I'm getting.. weird and fuck up sexual energy back. I had been totally objectifying and been sexually provocative toward him till shit got real and I then .....

Dude i don't fucking know. This is just fucking weird. . I 'm not shitting you. I feel it's all my fault , like sending out some sort of vibe that is attracting this energy. My ex friend John and I , i never had none of this shit going on. But these guys know I'm a homo so maybe they are sort of getting off on giving me this kind of attention? Look at blondie and I , I mean I don't know what to say..

Oh and then there is the other one that is kind of weird cause I sort of had some feelings for him but it was all fun and games till shit got pretty weird here and you already know how that came down. so what the fuck am I doing that is attracting this set up?

Sp I'm older than these 2 people too which makes it ever more weird to. I marco polo w the husband sometimes and once again , I tell him all the time .. how he is my brother "code word " for there is no sexual tension here , We are brothers .. right? but he wants to have a close relationship w me because there isn't a lot of men doing aya and we should have a special bond because we are both men, even though he knew i'm a dirty perv homo that gets off in raping other men. oh yeah cause all that shit came out when i was tripping on Aya. I mean he is cool and I like him not as weird as James but he also complements me alot which is sort of weird cause straight man don'g usually complement other males.

So naturally... now Im finding myself in the same fucking situation w the couple that organize the International Aya Ceremonies. These 2 are like religious leaders. and i swear they have all these gorgeous fucking people around them all the time like yoga instructors and personal trainers and shit but we like hit it on like we have known each other all our lives. They have this mansion which is divided in 2 wings one wing is for clients and staff people and then other wind is their private residence and I supposed only certain people who help them go in that space. I fucking have no business at all being there: Yet I found myself in their bedroom and I not even could have eye contact w anyone because I felt like I should not be here at all. They wanted me to help them moved some stuff out of their bedroom but why would they asked me the new guy... Next thing they are asking me to practically move in w them. which I am. lolz

So its pretty fucked up. I don't know WTF he is doing , I 'm sure he knows I'm a home because I have made a reference once about how hot guys from Spain are. So then this couple that I know, i have always been in strange very close relationships w M/F couples. I had one w John and Ingrid. which was very emotional and intimate like we would hang naked w each other WE never had sex, It was just a very intimate relationship I had w both of them for 20 years but John was totally kool I love him and i know he love too but there was no weirdness. I just stop being their friends when shit came down w my family and shit.

His name is James and I really like him. We would just talk for hours and then we would just text each other till we fall sleep and I really appreciated all the attention he gave me.. he was so fucking kind to me. like he would be in the city and he would like buy me shit and food an and all this shit. But I knew he is straight so ... I'm totally down, all of my male friends have been straight but none like James. So I told him he was my brother.. and when i say that what I'm really saying is "hey I know you are straight and I know you know I'm a faggot:" and me always referring to him as my brother, was to make sure he knew that I didn't see him as someone that I would want to have sex with, that he is my brother.. and I would never have those sort of desire towards him.

OK True Story. I keep fucking having these bizarre interactions w straight men. Fuck in the last year I have encountered 3 straight guys that act like they like me but it's more than ".like". I swear. So this doctor guy that was renting one of my cottages for 3 months, he already went back home.. he like text me out of the blue and send me fucking songs and he like puts hearts on the texts that I send him. WTF. and he has s girlfriend. So then he was telling me the he needed to have surgery on his shoulder ? and goes cause like pitching.... I don't like to catch... WTF is that? I felt was talking about how if you are pitcher meaning he like to fuck and if you are catcher you like to get fuck ... WTF ! I'm so confused w his bullshit.... Then we would spend hours talking about girls and his past girlfriend that he would not marry. .....