wish i had a bong .

how’d the beer go down last night?

are you there? I fall slept and then I was dreaming I was chatting w you.

oh no, that's crazy. I never mess w shit like that. My loan is locked at 5.75 % which is much higher than my CA house of 3.5 % which its fucking awesome. Hey good night. I'm falling sleep. Hope you have a good day bruh. Take care and keep safe.

It's OK , I need to chill the fuck down. I will be driving to texas in a couple of weeks . I'll see once i'll get there. If I'm not feeling it or Lucci doesn't like it because of the hit then game is off. I don't have to buy... I'll just travel and come home.

but i could possibly fuck up. cause i'm using my CA house as a collateral to buy a 2nd house. Practically the bank is saying. That faggot is sitting in a one million dollars. So let's give his nigger ass 300k. So I go to Texas and buy a house for 300 k . Then something goes wrong . Anything and I can't meet the payment. The bank doesn't give a fuck, cause they have a lien on my CA house. They will for close on my house and sell it and loss the house.

I think it could be a great opportunity to make me some cash. I'm just afraid i'm going to fucking freak the fuck up once i'm there alone and not having any outlets. here I don't care to be alone. But in a fucking strange place far away from where "HOME" is... man ... i don't know.

Totally, You understand the game. and I'm down w it. but i have lived here most of my adult life. So i know how to move around but there, I don't know anyone. I have to develop an infrastructure of people from scratch to help me out . I'm looking at buying the most rundown place in the best neighborhood since I'm not working I can work on it myself. I have my own crew here. And they already told me they are not coming to texas to help me out, which i understand.

it would be so much more easier if i wasn't alone . but i must do all on my own,. I'm also not feeling well. My body really hurts from all the working out and hiking. Today I had a hard time moving. I had plans to go on a long hike and cryotherapy but I was in so much pain i just stay in bed. Lucci was really upset cause he is use to going on his safari adventures every day. I have been doing it for several months so I shouldn't be having all these pain, i think i'm just old now. I'm also waking up through the night to pee. my doctor is afraid that it could be my prostate so he wanted to put me on meds but i say no. I don't need to start taking shit.

I'm having sort of a panic attack. I can stay here where I'm safe w my dog or take a chance and explore some place else and pursue true healing and happiness. I'm afraid I'm just complicating my life. Buying another house, having to worry about carrying two mortgages and not being employed sounds pretty crazy and that's nothing... what the fuck am I doing moving to texas out of all places. I not even know this people...what if i move and then they disappoint?