did they arrest the monkeys?....

I'm smashed. Are you working hard?

Ned's Top Ten People With a Lisp of ALL TIME!

1. Mike Tyson - Friendly rapist loved by all.

2. Winston Churchill - Far-Right white nationalist.

3. Drew Barrymore - Less sexy as she got older...

4. Moses - From the Bible. Nice bloke.

5. Frank Bruno - The UKs favourite black man. He's mental.

6. Jim Bowen (321) - Nothing in this game for two in a bed...

7. Wincey Willis - I don't know who the fuck she is. Pointing at the clouds.

8. Crevo - Derp.

9. Daffy Duck - Greatest of all the Ducks.

10. Sean Connery - Scottish racist who hated women. Scottish.

Everyone is saying that you could have been a Nazi during the war. You'd shout orders in a mean voice, not respecting gender pronouns, micro-aggressions. Those ovens won't light themselves. Great Friday Bonfire.

Are you actually working or some shit? What the fuck is going on...? Caustic soda can melt skin.

I don't feel like drinking bleach right now. Plenty of tea left. Do you have any suggestion for a Top Ten?

Am I clinging right now? I'd hate to cling. Badslabber you fucking nugget.

Be honest. Am I clingy?

Do you think Trump's gonna be arrested?

Very true. There's so much to read and take in. That's me, Duncan Bannatyne. I'm out.